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How to Deal With a Hostile Parent in Arizona | Hildebrand Law, PC

Tue 13th Dec, 2016 Arizona Divorce Laws

It’s all very fine to talk in terms of spouses working together in a divorce for the good of the children. But civility is not always easy, and divorcing spouses can be hostile and abusive. How can you reduce stress for the kids when your soon-to-be-ex is acting out? We want to talk about how to deal with a hostile parent in Arizona.

This scenario happens more often than one would like to think. But it doesn’t mean you throw up your hands—your kids need you more than ever. Instead, get some help. You have more options than you may realize to get the divorce back on the civil track.

An Experienced Attorney Will Guide You on How to Deal With a Hostile Parent

If your spouse doesn’t want a divorce, he or she may be hostile toward you. Do not consider going it alone if this is your case. It’s naïve to think that a bitter divorce will have a smooth landing. And one parent’s bad behavior impacts the kids.

Your first, best resource to find your way through a hostile divorce is your attorney. Choose your lawyer with this in mind. You want someone experienced and tough, but not a grand-stander or a bully. The right person will reassure and guide you through the process, step by step. He or she is there to answer questions and find solutions when your spouse is aggressive or nasty.

One of the first matters a good divorce attorney discusses with you helps available inside and outside the court system.

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Courts Offer Help

Many court systems, including the family law courts in Arizona, offer help to families going through a divorce. This can include mediation and parental coordination.

Arizona family courts offer mediation, and many require it for disputes involving the kids. In mediation, the parents meet with a neutral trained mediator to discuss the law, the kids, and the options. The parents may meet the mediator together or separately. The kids may or may not be included in the sessions.

Neither party is forced to compromise in a mediation. Nobody can force you to agree to a parenting plan. But hearing a neutral third party discuss the law and how it applies to your case can be persuasive. It often helps convince a belligerent spouse to act more reasonably.

Parental coordination is another source of help. It’s underutilized, yet a highly effective resource for parents in a high-conflict custody case. The court appoints a parenting coordinator to help the parents resolve child-related issues.

Usually, a parental coordinator comes in after the court enters final orders in the case. The coordinator assists with interpreting and enforcing the orders. Sometimes a court appoints a parenting coordinator before the final orders.

The parenting coordinator is an invaluable resource in resolving disputes about your parenting plan. It is well worth your consideration in managing the post-divorce period of a high-conflict case.

Private Mediation or Arbitration

When the Other Parent Is Hostile in an Arizona Case.

You and your spouse can arrange for private mediation or arbitration. Many firms specialize in providing these services, including a number of family law firms. Your attorney will very likely offer recommendations of mediators he or she has worked with.

Arbitration differs from mediation. The mediator acts as the voice of reason, getting parents to talk over the issues calmly and reasonably. An arbitrator hears each side then rules on disputed issues. Both alternatives are cheaper and easier to the kids than a bitter divorce trial.

Therapy for You and Your Children

If you notice your kids wilting under the pressures of the family break-up, they may need individual therapy. Many trained therapists are available in urban areas, and some specialize in working with children.

Divorcing parents can need help too. Talking to a trained professional about your fears, anger, doubts, and concerns as your marriage ends can help. While some therapists are very expensive, others charge sliding fees depending on your income. This is a good way to keep yourself moving forward in this difficult time. And the better you handle the divorce, the better it is for your kids.

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When Hostile Turns to Abusive

Note that hostile behavior toward you is different than abusive behavior toward you or the kids. If your spouse is bitter and angry about the divorce, that is one thing. An emotionally or physically abusive spouse is another.

If your spouse hits or threatened you or the children or erupts in a rage that frightens you, tell your attorney. The court has procedures for dealing with abusive divorcing parents and partners, including protective orders.

If you have questions about when the other parent is hostile in an Arizona divorce case, you should seriously consider contacting the attorneys at Hildebrand Law, PC. Our Arizona divorce and family law attorneys have over 100 years of combined experience successfully representing clients in divorce and family law cases.

Our family law firm has earned numerous awards such as US News and World Reports Best Arizona Family Law Firm, US News and World Report Best Divorce Attorneys, “Best of the Valley” by Arizona Foothills readers, and “Best Arizona Divorce Law Firms” by North Scottsdale Magazine.

Call us today at (480)305-8300 or reach out to us through our appointment scheduling form to schedule your personalized consultation and turn your Arizona divorce or family law case around today.


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