What to Do if Your Wife (or Husband) Wants a Divorce

Mon 16th Sep, 2019 Arizona Divorce Laws

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It is unfortunate, but some people need to know what to do if your wife (or husband) wants a divorce in Arizona.

If you have reason to believe that your marriage is broken, and there’s no way to redeem it, it makes sense to expect divorce.

Planning for divorce requires that you take certain measures as early as possible.

If you believe that divorce is imminent, you should take the seven steps below to prepare and safeguard your interests.

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Talk to an Experienced Divorce Attorney

It’s important to learn what your legal rights and responsibilities are in the event of divorce.

For instance, it might occur to you to move out for the duration of the divorce proceedings.

However, this could be a mistake.

Once you leave your marital home, you likely lose the ability to move back in.

It’s important to talk to an attorney before you make a move of any kind.

Get Copies of All Important Documents

If you are to receive your fair share in divorce, you need to have proof of what your spouse makes, and what their assets are.

Once divorce proceedings begin, however, you may no longer have access to the documents that you need.

It’s important to make copies of every important document as early as possible.

If your spouse runs their own business, you will need to request documents regarding their business finances.

You should also review financial records at home, and make copies of check registers, bank statements, mortgage papers, credit card statements, car ownership papers, and other important financial documents.

Create an Inventory of All Personal Property

Make a list of valuables you own such as vehicles, art and so on.

You don’t want to forget possessions in safe-deposit boxes or self-storage facilities, either.

If there is jewelry, you should have it valued.

Understand Your Monthly Household Expenses

You should carefully go through your family’s credit card and bank statements for each month, and through the family checkbook register to find out what expenses are each month.

You also need to carefully keep track of how much money you personally spend each month so that you have figures to consider when evaluating alimony.

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Understand the Amount of Your Monthly Debt Payments

Whatever debts you may service each month as a family, you need to realize that they will be apportioned between both parties when the court grants a divorce.

In some cases, it may be a good idea to pay down as much of your marital debt as possible before the divorce.

You also need to determine if there are debts that originate before the marriage.

Responsibility for non-marital debt belongs to the spouse who took it out.

Secure Documents to Prove What Your Spouse Earns

While you can look at your spouse’s paystub to see what they make, there could be other sources of income that you’re not aware of.

Your spouse could have a company expense account that they use for personal purposes or a company car for personal use.

If your spouse runs a business, some of the income could be in the form of cash.

You need to do your best to find proof of your spouse’s income, whatever form it may be in.

You Need to Take Care of Yourself

It’s important to make sure that you have the resources that you need once you get divorced.

Take a close look at your earning potential.

If you are not working, you may need to begin looking for a job.

You will need decent credit to make your own way in the world.

Check your credit score, and see what you can do to improve it.

You also need to build savings of your own.

If your spouse stops paying the utility bills, for example, you will need money until temporary support orders are in place.

Planning for divorce requires that you think ahead and act to protect your interests.

While you may not be used to investigating what your spouse makes, what the family assets are, or thinking about your financial needs, you should begin to do it all.

The sooner you begin to take steps, the better the position you will be in.

Frequently Asked Questions About What to Do When Your Spouse Wants a Divorce in Arizona

What should I do first if my spouse says they want a divorce?

The first step is to remain calm and avoid making emotional decisions that could affect your finances, parenting rights, or future legal position. Before moving out of the family home, transferring assets, or signing any documents, take time to understand your legal rights. Gathering financial records, protecting important documents, and consulting an experienced Arizona divorce attorney can help you make informed decisions.

Should I move out of the house if my spouse wants a divorce?

Not necessarily. Moving out may affect parenting schedules, possession of the home, or create unnecessary complications during the divorce. Every situation is different, particularly when children are involved. Before leaving the marital residence, it’s wise to understand the potential legal consequences and discuss your options with a family law attorney.

Can my spouse force me to agree to a divorce in Arizona?

Arizona is a no-fault divorce state. If one spouse believes the marriage is irretrievably broken, the court can grant a divorce even if the other spouse disagrees. While you cannot stop a divorce simply by refusing to participate, you can protect your interests regarding property, child custody, support, and other legal issues throughout the process.

What should I avoid doing after my spouse asks for a divorce?

Avoid making major financial decisions, hiding assets, emptying bank accounts, posting about your divorce on social media, or allowing emotions to dictate your actions. It is also important not to sign settlement agreements without fully understanding their legal consequences.

How can I protect myself financially during a divorce?

Begin by gathering copies of bank statements, retirement account records, tax returns, mortgage documents, credit card statements, insurance policies, and investment records. Monitor joint accounts, establish a budget, and avoid taking on unnecessary debt. Early financial preparation can help protect your interests throughout the divorce.

Should I hire a divorce lawyer if my spouse already has one?

Yes. If your spouse has retained legal counsel, you should strongly consider hiring your own attorney. An experienced divorce lawyer can explain your rights, negotiate on your behalf, and help ensure you do not unknowingly agree to unfavorable terms.

Can marriage counseling still help after my spouse asks for a divorce?

In some cases, yes. If both spouses are willing to participate, marriage counseling may help improve communication or even reconcile the relationship. However, if your spouse has firmly decided to move forward with divorce, counseling may instead help facilitate healthier communication during the legal process.

How do I emotionally cope when my spouse wants a divorce?

A divorce can be emotionally overwhelming. Many people benefit from seeking support from trusted friends, family members, therapists, or support groups. Maintaining healthy routines, focusing on your children if applicable, and staying informed about the legal process can also reduce stress during this difficult time.

How should I prepare if I think my spouse is planning to file for divorce?

Preparation includes organizing financial records, documenting assets and debts, reviewing insurance coverage, protecting important passwords, monitoring credit, and consulting an attorney before significant decisions are made. Planning ahead often reduces stress and helps preserve your legal rights.

Can I stop my spouse from filing for divorce?

Generally, no. Arizona law allows either spouse to file for divorce if the marriage is irretrievably broken. Even if one spouse opposes the divorce, the court can ultimately dissolve the marriage after following the required legal process.

What happens if my spouse files for divorce before I do?

Whether you file first or respond to your spouse’s petition, both parties generally have the same legal rights regarding property division, parenting time, child support, and spousal maintenance. Filing first does not automatically provide a legal advantage, although it may offer more control over the initial timing and presentation of the case.

Should I tell my children about the divorce immediately?

Parents should avoid discussing divorce with children until they have a thoughtful plan for communicating the news. Whenever possible, both parents should present a unified message that reassures children they are loved and that the divorce is not their fault. Avoid involving children in adult conflicts or asking them to choose sides.

Do I need an attorney if my divorce is uncontested?

Even in an uncontested divorce, consulting an attorney can help ensure your agreement complies with Arizona law, protects your rights, and avoids costly mistakes that could lead to future disputes.

What documents should I gather before starting a divorce?

Helpful documents include:

Tax returns
Pay stubs
Bank statements
Retirement account statements
Mortgage records
Vehicle titles
Insurance policies
Credit card statements
Business records
Estate planning documents
Investment account statements

Having these records organized can simplify the divorce process and improve the accuracy of financial disclosures.

What is the biggest mistake people make after learning their spouse wants a divorce?

One of the most common mistakes is reacting emotionally instead of strategically. Decisions made out of anger, fear, or frustration—such as moving out abruptly, hiding money, or refusing to participate in the legal process—can have long-term consequences. Taking a measured approach and obtaining qualified legal guidance often leads to better outcomes.

Meet With One of Our Experienced Arizona Divorce Attorneys

If you have questions about what to do if your wife (or husband) wants a divorce in Arizona, you should contact the attorneys at Hildebrand Law, PC. Our Arizona divorce and family law attorneys have decades of combined experience successfully representing clients in divorce and family law cases.

Our family law firm has earned numerous awards such as US News and World Reports Best Arizona Family Law Firm, US News and World Report Best Divorce Attorneys, “Best of the Valley” by Arizona Foothills readers, and “Best Arizona Divorce Law Firms” by North Scottsdale Magazine.

Call us today at (480)305-8300 or reach out to us through our appointment scheduling form to schedule your personalized consultation and turn your Arizona divorce or family law case around today.

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