Funny Divorce Quotes in Arizona

The majority of divorces are not full of laughter and joking. They are emotional, they are hard and they are stressful for all involved. But somehow that makes all the jokes, comedy skits, and funny quotes about divorce all the more soothing for those of us who have gone through a divorce. Those who have experienced or are experiencing a divorce may sometimes need to laugh out loud to keep their sanity.

So, if you are one of the lucky ones who is ready to laugh at the complications of marriage followed by divorce…here are a few favorites to consider making your own personal reminder that sometimes the only way to cope with life’s difficulties is to take a minute to laugh at the absurdity of it all.


Funniest Divorce Quotes from Famous Names: Celebrity Quotes

“Half of all marriages end in divorce – and then there are the really unhappy ones”. –Joan Rivers

“I look at divorce this way: it’s better to have loved and lost, then to live with that *&%*&^ for the rest of my life”. –Steve McGraw

“When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn’t a sign that they ‘don’t understand’ one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to”. –Helen Rowland

“I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house”. –Zsa Zsa Gabor

“My toughest fight was with my first wife”. –Muhammad Ali

“For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have”. –Woody Allen


Funniest Divorce Quotes that No One Claims: Anonymous Quotes

“My husband and I divorced for religious reasons. He thought he was God. And I didn’t”.

“While lying in bed with my husband last night, he asked me what I’d most like to do with his body. ‘Identify it’ apparently wasn’t the right answer”.

“I survived a divorce with a sociopath. What’s your superpower”?

“If marriage means you fell in love…does divorce mean you climbed out”?

“Co-parenting is awesome. They’ve really become so mature, communicative and cooperative since our divorce. Said no one. Ever”.


What You Should Say to Your Friends About Their Divorce

When your ex says, “You’ll never find anyone like me.” Reply with, “That’s the point”.

“Never get jealous when you see your ex with someone else because our parents taught us to give our used toys to the less fortunate”.

“Your ex had one very annoying habit. Breathing”.

“It’s okay to miss the old days…you know, like when you were strangers”.

“Congratulations on your divorce. We hated him”.

“All I’m saying is that I’ve never seen your ex and Satan in the same room”.


Number One Response to a Request for an “Apology” from Your Ex

“Absolutely. I’m so sorry that I ever called you a narcissist. I just didn’t know what a sociopath was back then”.

We know divorce is serious business. Don’t think for a minute that we don’t know how to take care of the legal side of your dissolution of marriage. We just know that while we’re taking care of your case, a little bit of humor can go a long way towards keeping you in a good mindset.

If you need additional information about methods of coping with divorce, coping with divorce through humor or the Arizona divorce process in general, please get in touch with Hildebrand Law. Our Scottsdale Arizona divorce attorneys are here to help you get through a divorce in Arizona.